Sorry, WordPress. We just want different things. You will always hold a special place in my heart, but I have to move on.

I hope you will all understand and support my decision by visiting me at my new home, moragandme.blogspot.com.

Prior to this post, I was sending text messages about balls to my co-worker that, if misconstrued, could probably be deemed sexual harassment, so the way I see it, using dead work time to update my blog is the lesser of 2 evils.

Hmmm…  I am really not helping my case to stay employed here.

Dear My Boss,

Just kidding! I am writing this entry from home in my spare time, and I text message only work-related and HR-appropriate things from the office. Also, today I saved the company 10 million dollars.

Sincerely,

Morag

Now that that’s taken care of… Um… Dooot dooot doooooot. That’s seriously the soundtrack playing in my head right now: dooot dooot doooooooooot. I got nothing here.

Hmmm. What can I tell you about? I can tell you that I’m  screwed because this whole day has been a total bust and now I’m going to have to work late all week to catch up. Umm… Or I could tell you that if I had a third ball, I’d be damned proud of it (and I’d probably name it, too). Or that men in suits kind of turn me off (Jack Layton may have been the only exception and now he is gone. RIP Sexy Jack).  Or that my cat is a murderer and I am just as proud of him as I would be of my third testicle. Or I could tell you it’s home bedtime and say goodbye. Bye!

I am a big ball of evil, so I do many, many horrible things that I wouldn’t want my children to do. When I picture the type of person I’d like my daughter to become, she is basically the opposite of me. I’m sure you can imagine, then, how hard it was to narrow down this list, which, by the way, includes everything from nail biting to eating an entire pie for breakfast to dating people I don’t even like.

More examples of my horrible deeds: when I was little, I wrapped a dirty Kleenex and gave it to one of my classmates as a gift; in the third grade I lied so well about being bullied that my mom made me switch schools (that incident requires an entry all on its own); I once called everyone in my local phone book to ask if they were alcoholics and was forced to stop when the operator called my parents; I regularly pushed my little sister into oncoming traffic until one of my neighbours snitched on me… See?! I am basically the devil. Where do I draw the line? I don’t want my kid to even THINK about doing those things or anything remotely like them. That kind of evil should be, in my opinion, the furthest thing from her mind. I want her to write letters to the government championing the sick and the poor and the oppressed, not fake, anonymous love letters to her peers for the sole purpose of crushing them when they find out the whole thing was a lie (another one of my childhood crimes).

What I’m trying to say is, there are just too many horrible habits and thoughts and deeds to wade through for just one entry on this topic, so instead, I’m turning it into a Friday 5 (albeit, a wordy Friday 5).

1. Now that I am an adult, probably sub-consciously to atone for my childhood sins, I tend to put the feelings of others before my own, and this can make me unhappy as a result. Similarly, I have an intense case of martyr syndrome that I definitely do not want to pass onto my children. So, I guess my first wish for my daughter and children-to-come is to be kind to  -and to stick up for – themselves.
2. Obviously my introduction above includes many, many examples of me being unkind to others which is another thing I don’t want my kids to do. Nowadays, my unkindness is more sneaky than the in-your-face antics of my yesteryears, but it’s there nonetheless in the form of gossip or, say, making fun of an entire belief system that thousands of people hold dear (poor Jesus). Just like I want my kids to have respect for themselves, I want them to be respectful of others, too.
3. I have always been a whiner and a quitter. I don’t know why I am so easily frustrated, but I am and I haaaaate it (whine whine whine). Add that to the list of things I don’t want for my children. I would like to instill patience and stick-to-itiveness in my offspring, even if I don’t possess those qualities myself.
4. Up until Whitney was born, I wasn’t much of a joiner. I didn’t take part in extracurricular activities (none that I didn’t quit after the first few sessions, anyway), and I didn’t have much of a social life. I stood on the sidelines a lot, not because I didn’t want to take part in things, but because I was too shy and self-conscious and socially awkward. If my kids don’t want to do X activity because they genuinely don’t like it, that’s fine, but if they’re holding back because they don’t feel confident enough to join in the fun, that’s an entirely different issue.
5. Last, but certainly not least, I have an uncanny knack of screwing myself into a financial hole – something I don’t want my children to do because I’m never going to have enough money to bail them out.

What 5 things do you do that you wouldn’t want your kids to do?

All of the participants were nice and cute and nerdy in all the right ways. Most everyone seemed ten times more hardcore than myself (two people on my team brought SUITCASES – the kind that have wheels – in addition to canvas bags, because they planned to buy enough yarn to fill them. HARDCORE).

I was a little ashamed because I showed up with my cheap Walmart yarn and my one and only project which I started months ago and never picked up again. My teammates all seemed to have The Good Stuff (the good, non-acrylic stuff that I got to fondle all day as we trekked from store to store, the stuff I wanted to gather into a big pile and roll around in until I fell asleep with tears of joy drying on my cheeks, the stuff I can’t afford but bought 6 balls of anyway because I could.not.resist), and projects they were passionate about. Many people were wearing knitted accessories and whole shirts they had made themselves. Naturally, I was in love.

And there was swag! I’m too lazy to take pictures of mine, but we all got some great yarn, a bright orange bag with the TTC Knitalong logo on the front, some coups… I got some free knitting needles and some detergent from Romni, one of the wool stores we went to. There were draws and prizes (I think the majority of which went to my team, Team Red. Go us!).

We went to three new-to-me yarn stores, Passionknit, Knit-O-Matic, and Romni, and an old favourite of mine, Mary Maxim. I fell in love with each, ESPECIALLY Romni. That place is insane!! Here’s just a TINY peek:

What is this place?! 

No one seemed too weirded out that there was a group of people crafting it up on the public transportation system, although I heard one of my team members refer to the non-knitting passengers as “Normals” and it made me giggle on the inside.

Oh my goodness, the yarn!! Did I mention the yarn? Nothing makes me happier than floor-to-ceiling balls of colour (like this scene from Knit-O-Matic):

Look at us! Shoppin’!

Knit-O-Matic was pretty awesome because they have a BIRD working there. Um, okay, maybe not working working, but definitely providing some entertainment. He fell in love with one of my teammates (whose name I think might be Robin, but I am terrible with names and I may be calling her Robin because I associated her with the bird. Sorry, Robin-who-may-not-be-Robin) while we were there.

Aww! Birdie Kisses!

So nice!

After the ride-a-long on the TTC and all of the shopping, we hung out at the Rivoli for drinks, food and prizes. I had to leave kind of early in the evening, but it was such a great day. I met some like-minded peeps, agreed to join the Toronto Crochet Guild (whose members are super nice), found some awesome local yarn stores that I plan to frequent now that I know they exist, bought some patterns and some yarn, and renewed my passion for all things crafty. Oh, and I donated some money to a good cause and became an Ambassador of Knitting and all that good stuff. Loved it!

Special thanks goes to the organizers of the TTC Knitalong and my team captains, Glenna and Lisa, my team members who were all fantastic, the stores and the Givers of Swag, the Normals on the TTC who didn’t so much as jostle me while I was crocheting, and to Kylie, my hero and Whitney’s babysitter, who took my little one off my hands so I could attend this awesome event. Thank you!

I threw this topic back into the vase as soon as I read it because I wouldn’t change a single thing about the dress/grooming habits of the people I know – partly because it never occurred to me, but mostly because I am the worst dressed/groomed out of everyone. If anything, this topic should read “dress/grooming habits we would like to steal from the people we know,” because I have plenty to say on that topic.

I can’t even suggest that my friends/coworkers bathe/use deodorant more often in this post. I am blessed to be surrounded by people who know how to address a stanky armpit.

That being said, I do have a suggestion – not just for the people I know, but people everywhere. I think it would be great if everyone wore their pajamas all day – in public – so that I could do the same without looking like a bum (more so than I already do). Not only would it increase everyone’s wardrobe selection (I, myself, own more PJs than I do street clothes), it would make everyone more comfortable, and therefore more relaxed and peaceful and loving and… Come to think of it, I bet worldsuck would decrease exponentially if everyone wore their PJs all day. Who wants to steal, oppress others, or wage war in their soft and comfies? In fact, I may have just found the key to world peace. You’re welcome.

*By “started a book club” I mean Cointrin mentioned that he wanted to read the books on the Modern Classics list and Mavis and I insisted we join him and then blog about it.

I love everything about our club – the half-assed-ness of the whole thing, the discussions, the baby-free outings, the venues, the warm feeling of self-importance I get when I say “my book club” – but the issue I have is blogging about it. I want to blog about it – I WILL blog about it. The problem is blogging about it and making it interesting. Because book reviews (reviews of any kind) can be so soooooo boring. I’ll keep them brief.

The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell

I liked it. The end.

.

.

.

Just kidding (about the end part, not the liking it part).

I don’t know where I got the impression that this was about creating social change – was it on the dust cover or something? – but I found that it didn’t live up to my expectations in that regard. I thought the case studies were interesting on their own and I liked the book for its bits and pieces, but the overall message didn’t make a big impact on me.

I really did enjoy it, though. As far as non-fiction books go, it was a quick read.

The Mad Bean Cafe

Awesome website. Totally cute cafe. Nice service. Not expensive (I got a cup of loose leaf chai tea for under $2). Love love love their steam punk theme and the fact that they sell used books as well as paintings and jewelry from local artists.

The Mad Bean was pretty empty and very small, which made it painfully obvious that everyone else in the joint (namely the two servers and some weird hippy woman who wanted to charge $10 to teach us some breathing exercises) had no choice but to hear us discuss our books and gossip. Aaaawkward.

Awkwardness aside, I love that this was our first book club venue. I was looking for pretentiousness and, while the Mad Bean didn’t seem snobby at all (how could it- it was empty), the crazy lady totally made up for it by soliciting us to take part in her breathing “event” and handing out fortune-like pieces of paper that said stuff in highlighter like “Love, appreciate, be grateful… watch your life transform!”. I wish someone had actually taken part in her event because it would have been fun to watch her in action and also because I felt terrible when she left without a single customer.

Links:

Read Cointrin’s book club rundown (complete with book list) here

Read Mavis’ review here

The only way I’m going to lose weight and be more healthy is by making very tiny, incremental changes to my lifestyle. I know myself and I know it’s not going to happen overnight – certainly not in 40 days.

Furthermore, obsessing about my weight isn’t getting me anywhere. I don’t have fun doing it, my friends and family are sick of hearing it, and I have better things to do than waste my energy on something that isn’t really a problem. True, I would like to look better in a bathing suit, but my BMI is still well within spec and aside from my crappy diet, my weight itself doesn’t pose any health issues for me.

Also, I would be very, very sad if, 10 years from now, my daughter echos my words and starts complaining that she’s fat. I don’t want to teach her that happiness is looking like an air-brushed model.

I hid my scale, and I’m working on making small decisions (i.e – deciding to eat fruit instead of chocolate, deciding to take the dog for a walk, etc. etc.) every day that will set a better example for my kid.

That being said, I am not anti-diet – I’m just against dieting for me because I think it does the opposite of what I intend it to do. The WWJD weight loss competition ends on July 3rd, so I’ll definitely weigh in for the finale. Cointrin has been doing soooo good – he’s been working with a naturopath, doing a cleanse, and kicking some serious butt. I love hearing about it and I’ll never tire of other people’s self-betterment projects. This is just one self-betterment project I’ll be giving up on*.

*Although, I reserve the right to change my mind and do some kind of weight loss thing in the future. I did, afterall, give up weight loss almost a year ago and here I am. We all know that my hypocrisy knows no bounds.

Top Five Blogs I Wish Were Still in Existence:

1. I Wasn’t Built to Get Up at this Time / Dozing (Tim Partridge)

2. Bad News Hughes (Patrick Hughes – buy the book)

3. Midnight Therapy with Crystal (more of a vlog, but I miss it. Crystal was an AVATAR!)*

4. Bobofett (Dana)

5. Digital Ink (Katie)

BONUS: Closer (okay, this is my old blog, but really. That’s 10 years of embarrassing entries not available online anymore because I’m too lazy to find webhosting for them and figure out how to use FTP again)

*OHMYGOODLORD!! It’s not NEW Crystal Anne, but in my desperate attempt to find an example for ya’ll, I found a back door into her website (and by “back door” I mean, like, I found a link to one of her entries – which is linked to OTHER entries – on Google. I love you, Google!).

What are your top 5 Blogs/Vlogs/Websites you wish were still producing content? Comment on this post, or steal this topic and run with it!