Is some freaking drapes for my apartment!! Seriously, I have no curtains. It makes it very hard to walk around my home in my birthday suit. Which isn’t to say that I don’t walk around in my birthday suit anyway, but sometimes, when I am feeling particularly paranoid, I do this thing where I duck under my window ledge and scurry from room to room all hunched over-like. I am not convinced that merely shuffling around, bent at the waist makes me invisible to the people peering up into my apartment, but it makes me feel a little more protected – even though, to the average onlooker, I probably look like a naked, mentally handicapped hunchback.