Epilator

EpilatorI don’t know how to say this without sounding gross or crass or over-share-y, so I’m just going to say it. I am a hairy beast. This may be a whole slew of TMI for you, but I have to tell you – I have the thickest, darkest leg hair (actually, the thickest, darkest, EVERYWHERE hair) of any girl I have ever known. It’s really disgusting. Dudes get a 5 o’clock shadow on their faces. I get a 5 o’clock shadow ON MY ENTIRE BODY. Yeeeeeeeee!!

Anyway, for YEARS I’ve been trying to find the perfect hair removal system. I’ve shaved, sugared, Naired, plucked, waxed, used hair minimizing lotion… Nothing really helps. Actually, waxing does but it’s messy and expensive. Also, it takes too long and I refuse to let a professional do it so when I get bored half way through, I give up (which leaves me all weird and patchy). It’s easier to just shave and deal with my insta-stubble.

I had been toying with the idea of buying an epilator since my friend, Meghan, told me about hers a couple of months ago. I have no idea why I hadn’t heard of it before. Basically, it’s like an electric razor but instead of just trimming the hair, it has a bunch of tweezers inside that spin and rip it out by the root. I would have bought an epilator ages ago, but they are kind of expensive and I couldn’t justify spending that kind of money on something I wasn’t sure was going to work. BUT, I got some money from my mom for my birthday and tonight, after months of telling everyone who will listen about this potential miracle product, I got one!! For erm… $85. This bad boy had better be worth it!

I am so excited to try it out, but I have to settle for writing an embarrassing journal entry about it because the mothereffer has to charge for 16 hours before I can use it. I am super pumped (and slightly obsessive) about it, though, and I can barely wait. Like, right now, I am contemplating running it over my shin while it is in off-mode just to see what it MIGHT feel like (minus the pain of a zillion hairs being painfully plucked from my skin). I’d make a sound effect, too. Like “bzzzzzzzzzz” and then possibly, “ow ow ow!”. I’m not going to, though, because it would be borderline creepy and I’m trying to contain my weird tendencies a bit now that I am just days away from the big two-seven (and, in my head, true adulthood). But really. It’s tempting. Ahhhh. Okay, I’m stopping. For serious. Chase just brought me a cream soda float (at 11:30 pm – mmm perfect bedtime snack!), so maybe that will take my mind off of it. . . At any rate, I’ll let you know how the epilation goes tomorrow!!

Bzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Okay, really. That’s it. Night!

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