On Glenn Danzig

There are few artists I like more than Danzig. I am a huge Misfits nerd, and I am absolutely nuts about Danzig’s bluesy stuff. He has, hands down, one of the sexiest voices in music. Just listening to him makes me want to take off my panties and mail them to him.

Unfortunately, his voice is where the hotness ends. When I see pics of him, I am turned off. When I see videos like this one:

I am so embarrassed by my love of him, that I want to crawl into a hole and die. Why does he have to be such a weird douche (and not at all in a good way)?

On the topic of the above video, doesn’t it feel like a Saturday Night Live sketch of Danzig talking about his book collection? Like, when he refers to his book of werewolf stories as “all documented… all true”. Or when he pauses to smile into the camera after he tells us how “cool” it is that a werewolf “emerged from the forest shaking a baby in its mouth”. Or when he recommends The Occult Roots of Nazism to school children? I could go on and on. And is that candle light flickering across his face, or is it sunlight reflecting off of a bowl of holy water at his feet? It cracks me up as much as it makes me want to apologize for my Misfits collection.

Oh Danzig, you voice-heavy unappealing man demon….

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