It’s Smartifying – How Russell Brand Piqued My Interest in Stalin Cont.

How Russell Brand Piqued My Interest in Stalin – Part 1 is here

Image Taken from the Wikimedia CommonsOh my goodness, what did I get myself into?! That wiki is HUGE and filled with a bunch of historical references my little brain can’t even begin to fathom learning about (mostly due to an overwhelming sense of boredom). That being said, there were a few interesting nuggets in the Stalin Wiki (or the Joe File, as I like to think of it).

I giggled sheepishly for a full minute when I found out that Stalin WAS THE LEADER OF THE FRIGGIN SOVIET UNION FOR A ZILLION (30-ish) YEARS, and not, as I had originally suspected, the leader of a mini-Nazi party in Germany. As soon as I read it, I had one of those “Oh yeah!!” moments where you feel like a complete dork; In the back of my mind somewhere, I knew that Ol’ Joe was the leader of the Soviet Union – somewhere dark and dank and buried beneath piles of empty, useless information like what Britney Spears was wearing when she attacked that pap with an umbrella, and the complete mission statement from my old workplace at The Call Centre… It rang a bell, is what I’m saying.

Here’s What I Know About Stalin

  • He might have been a Nazi.

    He was not a Nazi. He did, however, have a non-aggression pact with Hitler in the early years of WWII, but then Hitler betrayed him and broke the pact by invading some Soviet held territories and the Soviet Union. After that, he decided that he didn’t much like Adolf, and fought against the Nazis.

  • He was German.

    He was born in Gori, Georgia in 1878.

  • He possibly invented communism (you know, with Marx and all that. I kind of hope not considering I majored in Sociology and my ignorance will be doubly appalling if I don’t know the names of all of Karl’s friends).

    Stalin did not invent communism, but he was a Lenin Supporter and a Marxist Revolutionary. It seems like he put his own spin on Marxist-Leninism, though, and historians apparently debate whether he was true to those ideals.

  • He was definitely a communist. Or a fascist. Maybe he was a fascist? Probably a fascist.

    Joe was definitely a communist. In fact, he was the General Secretary of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union’s Central Committee.

  • He is most likely – probably definitely – dead.

    Stalin is as dead as a doornail. Ol’ Joe officially died of a cerebral hemorrhage in 1953, but many people now think that he was poisoned by some dude named Beria.

  • His first name is Joseph (I learned that from the YouTube comments).

    He was born Ioseb Besarionis dze Jughashvil, but everyone knows him as Joseph.

  • He was a meanie.

    Stalin is definitely someone you did NOT want to mess with. He exiled people, sent them to labour camps called gulags (aka Soviet concentration camps), single-handedly enforced government policies that created a famine that killed a ton of people, committed genocide, and generally murdered anyone who opposed him. Historical accounts paint him as harsh and rude, and he was so mean to his own son, Yakov, that Yakov attempted suicide. The kid shot himself, but survived, and Stalin is quoted as saying something like “he can’t even do that right”.

    Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to google some free Stalin documentaries that I can stream to my computer.

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