I start (and never follow through with) so many self-betterment projects in search of “the new me” that “the New Miranda” has become an inside joke amongst my friends. I don’t know if it’s laziness, my crippling procrastination habit, a lack of self esteem, or some other underlying issue that prevents me from achieving my goals, but I can never seem to move from talking to doing (I suspect it’s the laziness).
My moving into a new apartment feels like the beginning of something good though, and any opportunity for a fresh start brings out the New Miranda in full force. I want to make a billion self-betterment plans and talk about how I’m going to train my dog, and finally start that handmade baby items business, and keep my house 100% clean 100% of the time, and start taking vitamins, and read every classic ever written so I can reference them at the cocktail parties I plan to start attending, and save money, and buy a house, and be the best mom on earth, and, and, and…. The list goes on.
Instead, I’m going to recruit you guys as my therapists (you’ve been voluntold – I am too poor to afford a real shrink), and work on The New Miranda one goal at a time. This is really not any different than any other self-betterment project I’ve ever embarked on, but it’s fun to pretend that this time, it’s going to work out. I’ll explore some of the hurtles I face on a week-to-week basis, so maybe we (“we” being me and you, my therapists) can actually make some real progress. Think you can help? Leave a comment!
Setting and achieving mini-goals is the plan. I am hoping that each little success will create the momentum I need to continue to build The New Miranda (or rather, the Old Miranda with some positive changes), one goal at a time.
I know it’s superficial to start any self-betterment project off with a weight loss goal (especially considering there are so many other character-building life changes I should be making), but I’m surrounded by boxes, I’m expecting Chase to be home any minute now, and my dog is annoying me so badly (by whining, chasing his tail, and audibly licking his ass) that it’s taking everything in my power not to reach out and beat him senseless, so this is the easiest thing I could come up with and write about in a the limited, stress-filled time I have.
This month’s goal is this: I want to lose 5 lbs by July 1st. Small and achievable, right? I plan to do this by paying more attention to where my calories are coming from and modifying my diet accordingly, and by exercising more (or at all, really). I’ll post about my progress next Monday.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to stop Dexter from chasing his tail before I MURDER him.