It’s 2 in the morning and I’m beyond exhausted. I HAD to stay up this late because I was reading Ellen Foster by Kaye Gibbons (for my book club. I feel like I need to specify that it was for a book club because this isn’t a novel I’d normally read. Normally I’d read about vampires having sex or werewolves having sex with vampires). It was short, and good (although soul-crushingly depressing), so I thought “why not read it in one sitting?!” So I did. I’m DONE! And now I’m bummed out.
As I write this, I am hearing Whitney moan in her crib. Don’t wake up don’t wake up don’t wake up don’t wake up don’t wake up!
Awww crap. She’s crying.
Okay, I’m back (not that you care – it took you a nanosecond to read over those asterisks. It took me ten minutes to feed and snuggle that baby back to sleep). God, Whitney is cute. And big! I feel like I should be spending more of my early morning hours cuddling her instead of grumbling about how little sleep I’m getting. Soon she won’t want me to come near her. Soon, I’m going to be like that creepy old mom from Love You Forever, sneaking into my daughter’s house when she’s a grown woman and scooping her unconscious body into my arms just so I can get some snuggles in.
I spend a lot of time grumbling about how tired I am, and just about everything else. My house isn’t clean enough. I don’t make as many home-cooked meals as I’d like. I am poor. I have no time… When I’m not complaining out loud, I’m complaining in my head. It’s such a tremendous waste of energy. And feeling bad all the time is just stupid. I’m just going to embrace the fact that I’ll never be Suzy Homemaker and move on. If nothing else, it will make Chase happy – he won’t be living with such a buzzkill all the time.
So Dan Brown (who I used to subscribe to on YouTube aaaages ago), I found out via Hank Green (or rather, Hank’s video on the Vlogbrothers channel. It’s not like he called me and said “look at this, Miranda!”), is doing an awesome year-long project right now where he lets his followers make life decisions for him. I only mention this so I remember to catch up on the videos in the morning. But it sounds pretty cool and you should check it out, too.
(You know you’re a YouTube addict when, 1) you start referring to popular vloggers as if they are people you know in real life, and 2) the most pressing thing on your To Do List is “catch up on Dan Brown’s uploads”. God, I love YouTube!)