My friend, Karen, forwarded me this email that I sent her from our time as Team Coordinators at The Call Centre. Actually, at the time of this email, I think she had just been promoted to management and I was sending her love letters because I missed her so much.
I wish I could come to training with you and touch you akwardly and such. I have been thinking that your situation is a lot like that of Charlie the Unicorn1;. You’ve been lead to candy mountain, and now the unicorns want to steal your kidney.
Don’t let them take your kidney, Charlie!
PS – Man, that cartoon is genius, isn’t it?! Who knew it was a metaphor for corporate Canada?!
9:15 AMdated April 5 2007
I didn’t know it at the time (well, I kind of knew in the beginning before the monotony and office politics nearly destroyed me), but that was the best job I ever had. It was straight data entry, with awesome hours and the best team ever (me and two other girls who I heart to this day). Most of the time, it was pretty dead followed by periods of busy-ness that were so intense, I thought my head would fall off. I spent a lot of company time emailing back and forth with the other TCs between reports – sending them poems (haikus mostly), love letters, gossip, funny customer comments2, complaints, catty observations about management (it was all fun and games until one of them found out that I nic-named her friend Eeyore. I think she actually said “Who does that bitch think she is?!” Although, in all fairness, “Eeyore” never smiled and she always looked like life was beating her with a big stick), and other general silliness. I spent hours laughing my ass off – like the time I randomly called Karen all morning and sang Gwen Stephani’s “Wind it Up” (Karen would yodel, and I would do the “uh uh uh uh” grunting part). I think it was kind of a “you had to be there” thing, but I have never laughed that hard before or since.
The Team Coordinator position had everything I love in a job – data entry, piles of paper, awesome co-workers… Plus, I was really good at it. The chemistry was perfect. It was a time and a place that I can never get back, and that makes me kind of sad. But it also makes me excited to return to my current job so I can work at being the best Admin Monkey I can be and mold my co-workers into another version of Karen build new, fun work relationships.
2Funny Customer Comment (Real Life) Example (edited only to protect the identity of the company I worked for):
“Help Desk support guy kicked ass he assessed the problem in a matter of minutes and setup everything I needed to have a tech to come by and replace ram and/or motherboard….now it would be great if my BRAND NEW COMPUTER that is less than a MONTH old actually worked correctly bieng that i am a NEW customer and finally joined the ranks of Jedi from the west coast now i have built some top end kick ass machines that can run circles around this computer but they are ugly and dammit I want my pretty computer workin and reading all those multimedia formats thats other computers cant handle so to the cool FLUENT ENGLISH SPEAKING CALL CENTRE KREWE(nonDELL suckass support) i know u gotta wait for parts and YOUR COMPANY kicks ass and all but please hurrup in sendng the tech to fix my PC looking at my new computer and not bieng able to use it is like a pervert in a titty bar who the hell wants to pay to look at someone when there is a good ol internet porn. I work at a help desk I know whoever is reading this has to give me the positive we’re doin all we can answer I just typed all that sh*t so you could get a good laugh and if you are offended sorry and pull the bug outta ur ass this is the real world and people fart when they take shits. YOUR COMPANY KICKS ASS please fix my brand new COMPUTER THANKSDavid P.P.S. what was Goose’s name in top gun….exampleLT. PETE MITCHELL MAVERICK TOM CRUISE? GOOSE ANTHONY EDWARDS[hint] LTJG(Lieutenant Junior Grade) something”