From the Vase: I Am Probably the Devil

Topic: Horrible things we do that we wouldn’t want our kids to do.

I am a big ball of evil, so I do many, many horrible things that I wouldn’t want my children to do. When I picture the type of person I’d like my daughter to become, she is basically the opposite of me. I’m sure you can imagine, then, how hard it was to narrow down this list, which, by the way, includes everything from nail biting to eating an entire pie for breakfast to dating people I don’t even like.

More examples of my horrible deeds: when I was little, I wrapped a dirty Kleenex and gave it to one of my classmates as a gift; in the third grade I lied so well about being bullied that my mom made me switch schools (that incident requires an entry all on its own); I once called everyone in my local phone book to ask if they were alcoholics and was forced to stop when the operator called my parents; I regularly pushed my little sister into oncoming traffic until one of my neighbours snitched on me… See?! I am basically the devil. Where do I draw the line? I don’t want my kid to even THINK about doing those things or anything remotely like them. That kind of evil should be, in my opinion, the furthest thing from her mind. I want her to write letters to the government championing the sick and the poor and the oppressed, not fake, anonymous love letters to her peers for the sole purpose of crushing them when they find out the whole thing was a lie (another one of my childhood crimes).

What I’m trying to say is, there are just too many horrible habits and thoughts and deeds to wade through for just one entry on this topic, so instead, I’m turning it into a Friday 5 (albeit, a wordy Friday 5).

  1. Now that I am an adult, probably sub-consciously to atone for my childhood sins, I tend to put the feelings of others before my own, and this can make me unhappy as a result. Similarly, I have an intense case of martyr syndrome that I definitely do not want to pass onto my children. So, I guess my first wish for my daughter and children-to-come is to be kind to  -and to stick up for – themselves.
  2. Obviously my introduction above includes many, many examples of me being unkind to others which is another thing I don’t want my kids to do. Nowadays, my unkindness is more sneaky than the in-your-face antics of my yesteryears, but it’s there nonetheless in the form of gossip or, say, making fun of an entire belief system that thousands of people hold dear (poor Jesus). Just like I want my kids to have respect for themselves, I want them to be respectful of others, too.
  3. I have always been a whiner and a quitter. I don’t know why I am so easily frustrated, but I am and I haaaaate it (whine whine whine). Add that to the list of things I don’t want for my children. I would like to instill patience and stick-to-itiveness in my offspring, even if I don’t possess those qualities myself.
  4. Up until Whitney was born, I wasn’t much of a joiner. I didn’t take part in extracurricular activities (none that I didn’t quit after the first few sessions, anyway), and I didn’t have much of a social life. I stood on the sidelines a lot, not because I didn’t want to take part in things, but because I was too shy and self-conscious and socially awkward. If my kids don’t want to do X activity because they genuinely don’t like it, that’s fine, but if they’re holding back because they don’t feel confident enough to join in the fun, that’s an entirely different issue.
  5. Last, but certainly not least, I have an uncanny knack of screwing myself into a financial hole – something I don’t want my children to do because I’m never going to have enough money to bail them out.

What 5 things do you do that you wouldn’t want your kids to do?


2 thoughts on “From the Vase: I Am Probably the Devil

  1. TYu says:

    Come to think of it, when I look at that picture of her on the chair, it’s reminiscent of the little zombie girl from the Dawn of the Dead remake…. Spoooky!

  2. Chase says:

    I totally feel you. I’ve been known yo have a “short fuse” so to speak. It’s something that I’ve always hated in myself that I don’t want to pass on to my daughter. 😉

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