Tonight, Briefly, the Only Thing Standing Between Me and Insanity Was a Gigantic Maxi Pad

My 3 year-old has been toilet trained for a long time now, but she’s not very reliable at night so she still wears pull-ups to bed. Unfortunately, we ran out of big kid diapers today and I couldn’t get to the store with two kids in tow – not without losing my mind, anyway. Chase, who had already committed to picking up pull-ups on the way home from work, was due to arrive after bedtime. Normally, I’d be willing to keep Butterbean up, but she was a complete asshole all day and I knew if she didn’t go to bed at least an hour early, we were both going to have a meltdown of epic proportions.

This is an actual text conversation between the hubster and I around 5pm:

Chase: Is it cool if I give JR a lift home after work?

Me: Sure. Will it take long? We need pull-ups.

Chase: Not really. I’ll pick up pull-ups.

Me: Thanks, babe. I should have gotten some today. I’d go now except I took Butterbean to the library and she was a fucking monster.

Chase: Oh noooo. 😦 I’m sorry

Me: It’s okay. Maybe we’ll go anyway so I can get her off to bed.

Chase: LOL. KK. Let me know if you do.

Me: … Bean refuses to go to the store but I have a genius idea. Gonna put a pad on her. BAM!!

Chase: LMFAO

Me: It’s a solution and a blog entry in one.

I found a random pull-up in Bean’s closet so, phew, crisis averted. That being said, I was totally ready to strap one of my diaper-like post-birth pads to the kid’s underwear and ship her off to bed. We had a rough, rough day, guys. I tucked her in, literally sprinted from her room, collapsed in my own bed, and spent an entire hour motionless, debating whether or not I should go to sleep (oh, god, I want to sleep!). The only reason I am conscious right now is the knowledge that I am finally alone; I want to be awake to enjoy it.

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