Games My Baby Plays With Me

IMG_5007I’m always talking about the games I play with my preschooler, but poor Sprout is left out of those posts because, up until recently, she’s been too small to play anything besides peekaboo (huge hit, by the way).

There are, however, some things she plays with me (read: things she does that drive me bonkers). So, without further ado, here’s a list of my 10 month-old’s favourite games:

Poop My Pants As Mommy Is Heading Out the Door

It never fails – as soon as I have both kids dressed, packed up, and ready to go,  Sprout shits herself. The severity of her blow out is directly proportionate to how far behind I am running; the later I am, the more likely it is her diaper has EXPLODED to the point where she needs a bath and a complete change of clothes.

Wake Mommy Up 5 Times a Night to See if I Can Make Her Head Explode

Despite the fact that she is a chunky monkey who does not, in any way, need to be fed during the night, Sprout wakes up at least twice for some milk. Just like her massive dumps before we leave the house, her nighttime pestering is directly proportionate to how badly I need to sleep.

Scream Until Daddy Holds Me

Ah, this is probably my favourite game of all: spending all evening trying to quiet my cranky baby, only to have Chase come home and settle her down in two seconds flat. I’ve mentioned before that her dad is the Baby Whisperer, but I just need to state, one more time, for the record, that I hate him for it.

Spit My Food Out Using the “Raspberry Technique” 

Sprout loooves to blow raspberries, but only when she has a mouthful of food. Baby goop flies EVERYWHERE and she thinks it’s hilarious. Mommy thinks Sprout needs to learn to work a dishrag pronto because I’m tired of cleaning up after her messy mealtimes.

Throw Everything I Can Onto the Subway Floor

I cannot give Sprout a single thing when we are on the subway because she inevitably throws it on the floor, and then some poor stranger feels obligated to pick it up for her, only to have her throw that exact same item out of her stroller immediately after it was retrieved. This goes double for anything that’s supposed to go into her mouth, like a soother or a bottle.

Try to Eat the Kitty Litter

If she thinks she can get away with it, Sprout will beeline to the cat’s litter box. I spend a good portion of my day trying to deter her from Buddy’s toilet. I don’t know what it is she loves so much about it. I mean, she’s been to a sandbox, and she didn’t express that much interest in it, so I can’t assume that she wants to play in the dirt. Is it the smell she loves? The shape of Buddy’s poop logs? I don’t know. But it’s gross.

Use the Cat’s Water Dish as a Kiddie Pool

The only thing Sprout likes more than playing in the cat’s litter box (aside from maybe giving me a heart attack by pulling his tail), is playing in his food dishes. She loooooves Iams, and she delights in splashing around in his water bowl. I once changed her three times in one hour because she was soaked in the cat’s spitty water. We have since put a baby gate between her and the food dishes, but it only encloses them on one side, and she quickly learned how to use the “back door,” so to speak.

At it again

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