Ummm… Let’s Talk About Music, I Guess

It’s been awhile. I’m still fat. My life is still boring. There! You’re all caught up.

Let’s talk about my current favourite songs while I munch on this bag of goldfish crackers, because my life has gone to shit and food and music are the only things I’m passionate about today.

Close to You – Neon Trees

Much like Tyler Glenn’s look, Neon Trees is either a hit (punked out leather) or a miss (mod short pants) for me.  Most of their songs barely register on my “meh” meter, but then I’ll listen to their other stuff on repeat. All.day.long. I haven’t loved a song as much as I love Close to You in ages. It gives me the feels.

 

My Neck, My Back – Elle King

I love me a good cover, and this one blows (weak pun intended) the original out of the water for me. It’s the perfect amount of raunchiness and tongue in cheek sass, both in lyric and delivery. It cra-a-acks me up.

 

History – 1 Direction

I went from hating all 1D songs to randomly hearing History one day, and going “this song is AWESOME!” I’m pretty sure this is a one-off, and I will continue to dislike the rest of 1 Direction’s discography, but it’s possible that after watching enough Harry/Louis fangirl videos to nauseate even the most fervent of Larries, my metamorphosis into a 13 year old girl is complete.

 

Downtown – Macklemore

Just because it’s a fun song.

Side note: why do I find this little ginger so sexy? He reminds me a tiny bit of my teen ‘stache (if my teen ‘stache was red and a little greasy). He’s barely my type, but I’d smash that so hard. [insert my neck, my back joke here]

 

[This Specific Live Version of] Valerie – Amy Winehouse

I don’t know what it is about this performance, but I have watched it probably a thousand times. I like her hands and the way she hikes up her sleeves, in a way that isn’t entirely heterosexual. When Amy was on, she was ON. Without exception, I like her stripped down performances better than the bells and whistles album cuts.

 

I also love this version of Back to Black:

 

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The Big Wedding

I just watched The Big Wedding, and all I have to say is “Topher Grace.” Topher Grace, man! Ugh! Why do I love him so much?!! I hate Eric Forman, but give him a haircut and suddenly I want to do bad things to him.

Also, Chase, if you’re reading this, if you cheat on me with your ex, I am not going to up and marry you less than 12 hours later. Eff that ess.

Buddy, the cat, says:

v b

[]”””””””””””’6

Which, I think, means he agrees with me.

Guilty Pleasures

So I just watched last week’s episode of Glee, “Guilty Pleasures” (season 4, episode 17). I don’t know what it is about Glee, but I love it despite the fact that every episode leaves me angry, embarrassed for the writers and actors, or underwhelmed (usually all 3). Glee is one of my guilty pleasures.

Anyway, this episode was a letdown. Seriously, Boring-Gay-Guy-with-Brown-Hair, your shameful secrets are that you like Wham and you have a crush on the only attractive member of the Glee cast? Bitch, please! Get in line.
Glee got me thinking about my own guilty pleasures, and I thought it would be fun to share.

 

The LA Beast

I cannot stop watching The LA Beast’s videos. I giggle like a school girl every time he says “one and done” or every time he vomits or talks about going to the hospital. Hilarious!

This guy lived at his parents house well into his late 20s, puked all over his father’s car because he threatened to throw him out, eats competitively for a living, and has some of the most awkward dialog I’ve seen on YouTube. And yet, I’d hit it.

It was this video that did me in:


At the end, when he’s puking over the toilet and saying “fuck, I’m crying, dude,” I thought “that’s a guy I’d like to sleep with.”

This is why I should never be allowed to date again. Thanks for keeping me safe, Chase.

Nikki Minaj’s butt (also, Beez in the Trap)

I am mesmerized by Nikki Minaj’s butt. Like, if she’s onscreen, all I can do is a) stare at her butt, b) hope that they pan out so I can see her butt again, and c) stare at her butt some more. It’s a serious problem.

Oh, and I love Beez in the Trap.

 

Harry/Ron slash fiction

Harry Potter and Ron Weasley. They’re friends. They admit that they actually kind of like like each other. They make love (hopefully when they are of-age so my obsession with this ship seems less creepy). I fangirl as a result. They are so.cute.together!

Siiiigh. I know I’m terrible. I know it. I’m sorry. I can’t help it.

Motivational Speakers

I can sit and watch/listen to motivational speakers all day long. Tony Robbins, Brian Tracy, Zig Ziglar (RIP, you old coot)… There’s no one too cheesy, no one too radical, no one I won’t listen to. I live for this crap.

 

What are your guilty pleasures? I am seriously dying to hear about them. Please comment or write a blog entry or both. Or other.

Jeff Probst Can Rub My Back Anytime

Okay, can we talk about Jeff Probst, please? Because after Brandon Hantz had that big meltdown on Survivor last week, I am all about Jeff effin’ Probst. Dude wasn’t even a blip on my radar before; 1. because I rarely watch Survivor, and 2. he isn’t my type (he’s not A) dirty, B) a Jesus lookalike, or C) a dirty Jesus lookalike). I had no clue how awesome he was.

And then… THIS happened:


How sexy was that? Am I right?! I love that Jeff was neutral during the whole confrontation and he seemed genuinely concerned about Brandon. I love that he diffused the situation by asking Brandon to stand with him, and restrained/helped him to calm down with a shoulder rub. He was the epitome of cool under potentially explosive circumstances and ohmygod, I love Jeff Probst. He might have singlehandedly turned me into an actual Survivor fan.

Are you into Survivor? How do you feel about the way Hantz went out?

Phoning It In

I am on the brink of a period-induced meltdown (sorry for the deets) so this is going to be a random post while I gather my sanity.

Things I’m thinking about right now (besides my usual laundry list of complaints about hunger and exhaustion):

Chase
who is making me a chocolate chai tea right now because he can sense the storm brewing inside my uterus.  God bless that man. Even my cranky ladybits adore him.

Nice Peter
I feel like I’m cheating on John Green by saying this, but I want to marry Nice Peter. He’s so nice and quirky and sweet and funny. Siiiigh.

I gave blood again today! 
I have nothing interesting to say about this – the whole thing was pretty much incident-free – but I wanted to mark this day in my journal because those two bags they gave me after my C-section? Paid in full! I’m even Steven now. Woooot!

30 Rock
is on. Bye!

Apparently, I’ve Turned Into a Walking Hormone

I have such a love/hate relationship with Russell Brand. We have been on the outs for a little while now, following his explosion in North America, when I realized that he’s kind of a twat. I have been pretty consistently disappointed in all of his interviews and performances for the past… well, since he hosted the MTV Video Awards the first time. And then, I saw this interview:

REDEEMED!

Now I have two skinny, long-haired bearded men in my (newly revised, as of this evening) guilt-free three list.